uh oh john howard?
by KaTKeLlY
Summary: this is a or suppose to be a humor story about john howard and other stuff that comes into the wizarding world.includes gay references, swearing, and other stuff]. enjoy!


**Ok everyone this is a quick fan fic.the idea has been in my mind for at least 3 days and I need to get rid of it.it is about harry potter meeting john howard and if you like Johnny then first you're an idiot in my opinion cause he just interfears with everything like OMFG who needs to learn more about Australia then we already know and secondly…well I cant remember cause I have been ranting anyways harry and his friend(all except for hermoine)are going to be dumb and scared. And by the way sorry about the spelling and/or grammer mistakes Im not an English teacher or straight a student in English so don't give me crap about otherwise ill just ignore it. Get it I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SPELLING OR GRAMMER! Ok now onto the story sorry bout the rant…oh and by the way I own nothing you reconise**

**It was a bright summers day when harry potter went over to his best friends**

**"harry where are you" ron weasly called out to his friend**

**"ron do you think this colour suits my eyes?"harry came out with make-up on**

**"ahhhhhh its aliens!"ron screamed and round around in circles that minute hermione came up "you to what the hell is going on and harry why are you wearing make –up and is that my miniskirt?(omg can you imagine dan radcliffe in a mini skirt EWWWW!)"I thought it looked nice"harry said with his face to the ground he walked off into hermiones room again and put away the skirt and came out in short shorts and a boob tube "is better hermione?"he asked in a gay accent(I have nothing against gays I have many gay/bi friends and they are friken awesome any ways)"omg harry follow me into the bedroom"she tried to keep her temper but he gets so frustrating ever since he found out draco was gay and had a crush on him harry just lept at the idea and they started to get all lovey dovey which is getting annoying basiclly cause shes not getting any when harry is…..with a guy its like that quote sex is like air its not important until your not getting any.(geez I love that quote)"hurry up you stupid children!"a drunk molly weasly yelled up the stairs to ginny,harry, ron and hermione."ron since when did your mother start drinking?"hermione asked "since she found out that harry was gay and wouldn't be able to marry ginny"ron replied "lets go" an excited ginny yelled they traveled by floo to the nearest fire place(I know that's not leagal in the wizardy community but in my story it is just because im the writer and I said so!so there hufph)and walked to the train station"I cant remember hic where to get to station 9 and three quarters hic"mrs weasly said "come on everyone I know where"harry walk to the entrance like he had a stick in his ass(me and a few workmates were discussing this I don't reakon they walk like that and they probably don't act like this but this is a very dramatic version and im sorry if I offend anyone that's not the point of the story the point Is to bagg out john howard and harry pothead)they traveled on the train until of course they arrived at hogwarts of course everyone nearly threw u because they saw draco and harry making "love" when they arrived they went straight to the hall to food after the new people got sorted into houses dumbledore announced there will be a new teacher and new subject. The new teachers name was john howard everyone from Australia screamed and ran for the doors "hey why are they running and screaming?"harry asked "because"hermione replyed "john howard is the prime minister of Australia and he sucks at it and interferes with everyone elses business and the new subject politics is even more boring than apocrathy"aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" ron and harry screamed and ran for the door draco stood up "where are you going starfish!" he yelled and followed harry out. Hermione sighed and rubbed her temples "am I the only sane one here?" she asked herself "obviously not since your talking to yourself" ginny said smiling "but hermione I got to talk to you about something" ginny continued "not right now ginny I have to get some sleep ive been with those morons for to long maybe I should get new friends if I can make any she thought to herself ginny looked her ass and sighed my god that was a sexy ass.the whole castle went to sleep by the 10pm harry dreaming about draco and draco dreaming about harry ,ginny dreaming about hermoine,hermione dreaming about her own library and ron well dreaming about food and giant spiders.**

**The whole castle go t a wake up call at 6 am by john howard running naked infront of them all singing im to sexy for my shirt which got them out of bed and scared them half to death except for harry and draco who thought he was sexc and have a threesome…(I know I am weird but these are now on the spot ideas) there first class was politics john howard started teaching themabout politics "well kids politics is easy all you do is stuff up everyone elses lives and take allll the tax payers money even the teenagers who work 38 hour weeks." He said and sat down to rest "now just study that and think up ways to ruin peoples lives" they all sat there foe 1 hour thinking which made the room smell like burning rubber then all of a sudden voldemort appeared "im going to kill you all" john woke up "GET OUT OF MY CLASS IT'S THE RONG TIME TO ENTER GO PLAY IN THE TRAFFIC YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD oh and call me this is my number" then all of a sudden john howard dropped in the middle of the isle into a deep sleep.**

**Hermione jogged to see the proffesor dumbledore "come in"he said "uhh proffesor I have a problem with the new teacher hes rather lazy and-" she got cut off "come see the butterflies oh there so pretty I just want to catch them" he said dipping his hand into the bowl of water hermione thought he was looney so she went back to her dorm ginny was waiting outside for her practicing "hey ginny how are you?" "good"ginny replied "but I got to tell you something"she said "iminlovewithyou"she said very quickly "ginny I didn't understand at all "hermione I think im in love with you" she said hermione was shocked ginny started to walk away when hermiones lips felt hers "ive always known it but I was waiting for you" draco,harry,john,hermione,ron,rons tree,and ginny decided to celebrate so they all went down to the lake to party "ha I got you all now" volemort yelled. Then he killed everyone but himself on earth then he killed himself cause he killed his one and only love john howard.**

**The end**


End file.
